Top 5 Warning Signs Dream Team Is Ruining AFL For You

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Here are the top 5 warning signs AFL Dream Team is ruining the game for you … If you recognise some of these symptoms I feel for you - Dream Team Addiction is just around the corner. Beware!

5. You know what each stat is worth in Dream Team off the top of your head and the number pops into your head whenever your player racks up a score.

However, when you know your opponent’s team and you start seeing numbers when they rack them up as well, you are looking in trouble. Once you’re seeing plays as numbers it’s as good as over for you - goodbye football fan, hello Dream Team Geek. Like the binary nerds before you, you’re reduced to a series of 1s and 0s.

If you’re a Super Coach player, then thank your lucky stars. Those numbers are guarded closer than Hutchy with his ’scoops’ on The Footy Show. You won’t be seeing them ever, let alone in your sleep.

4. Can’t access the Internet? No worries - SMS updates are for you because you can’t go one hour without knowing the scores!

(If you only get the full time updates there might be hope for you yet, but half time updates are a sure sign of the nut house).

3. Move over ‘Pagan’s Paddock’ - the greatest tactic in AFL these days in your eyes is when two of your dirty cheap backmen decided to play kick to kick as time winds down.

While everyone else is cursing ‘clock management’, you cheer just a little too loudly and reminding everyone how ‘tempo footy’ is going to keep you in Eliminator for another round.

2. Who said it’s only a game? You’ve punched walls, thrown remotes, smashed glasses or all of the above because:

- your DT player hand balls when they could kick - your DT player drops a total sitter - your DT player gets pinged for a soft free kick - your gun back pocket gets manned up (what? he’s a back pocket!) - your DT player gets a free, but advantage is given to another player (in front of goal this may warrant wall punching) - your low scoring back men is not getting involved in the short pass after a point - your player is not getting involved in clock management or “tempo” footy

Finally - the big kahoona…

1. You find yourself cheering on your Dream Team players at the expense of the team you support.

Sorry - but this is crossing the line. Not only are you a disgrace to your club, but there is no way coming back from here. Nothing is more un-Australian - it’s time to book yourself some time on the couch, and no I don’t mean with Mike Sheehan (although you might sit next to him in the waiting room…).